Beyond Perfection

Sometimes I feel that fate is playing hard games on my life.. and God is really tease me off with my love life. For a second I thought that this time it would be different. The flow of the story is different. It feels different. This might be a bogus word.. but yes! This time it is far beyond perfection. I’ll tell you why..

My life has been trembling down for the past one and a half years.  My financial situation is in very deep shit. I’m still struggling to be out of this mess for I know that it took half of my spirit away. I love my job but my boss and half of my colleague is pulling me down. Not giving me the chance to shine.. and I’m struggling my ass off to fit in this working environment. That is working with bunch of donkeys! 

Then I met this one very stunning lady. I assumed that she was checking on me. “Hey!! Why not? Just give it a try!!” I said to myself. I have nothing to lose. So, we became friends. One hell of a great friendship I must say. Sharing stories; one after another. Teasing each other off. Always knocking out our imaginations wall to the next level. Yes, I admit it! I can’t live a day without talking to her. I hope that I haven’t make her bored with me.. well that is one thing that makes me freak out. Somewhere between that, I fell for her. This time I fall hard. Very hard. 

The negative part is I did try to convey my feelings towards her. Not once, not twice but plenty of time. But she keep it cool.. and I have no idea whether she noticed every single signs of it or not. She don’t really respond to it directly. I keep on picking up details of her every time we spoke. The do’s and the don’ts, her preferences, her wisdom, her passion, her good side and her flaws.. every single thing that she shared with me. Sweetheart.. each bits of you has been diluted into my brain, thru my veins and stored directly in my heart. I love you for who you really are. The beautiful way you are as a person. 

Here comes the best part! This is not the 1st time I been playing hard-to-get game. With all the love I have for her, I still don’t have any clue how she feels about me. Seriously she plays a large role in molding my everyday’s mood. Sometimes I feel that she doesn’t understands me. But I’m pretty sure she can figure me out. It’s just her response are very intensely slow. That freaks me out. Seeing her status messages, sometimes break me into pieces. Yet, there’s just no anger in me seeing all that. Yes, I hate it but there’s no anger. Just a small part of jealousy I guess, thinking how I wish all of that sweet words are for me. Sigh! Hard ya’??! Well.. this is love my friend. Trust, faith, tears, pain, argument, patience, secrets, jealousy and fights are elements of love and relationships. 

Back to the main issue here, with part of my life is still unstable and my love life is totally haywire; I still have this very uniquely peaceful sound in my heart. A very tranquil and indescribable feeling that makes me love her more every single day and the calmness of this feeling makes my brain have the ability to think ways to overcome my other problems in life. This is what I meant by beyond perfection. It is not actually perfect but it fits everything in a such beautifully perfect way.